Kai the robot dog

My coworkers in Antarctica miss me! Where I was at the electrically-charged front counter of Warehouse 211 (is that right? I don't remember) is now an empty space. There has been no mention of a replacement, but the US Antarctic program has fallen on hard times these days and are cutting personnel like crazy so that's probably why. That or else I am just irreplaceable. No one else that applied was up to par. There just aren't too many tattoo-apprentice antique-book-dealing bohemians that want to sit in a windowless warehouse counting troffers all day long.
Anyhow, to deal with their sorrow (haha) Denise and Mike named a robot dog after me. You can see the resemblance in the family portrait above.
It's funny to see the couch with the stained pink sheet on it where I drank coffee every morning at 7, trying to get psyched about pickling things out of a snowbank. Old, rusty weeping things, in sodden cardboard boxes. Sometimes we would find the invoices for these things and discover that they cost as much as one month of San Francisco rent. Damn.

Photo of a "pickle" from Sandwich Girl


Antarctica is now the can of worms that I have constantly at my disposal in conversation. I can choose to change the conversation dramatically just by mentioning it. You cannot mention Antarctica and then not talk about it for at least the next 15 minutes. I should write a list of answers to the most commonly asked questions. Then bring up that I went there and calmly hand the person the list and wait patiently for the next topic of conversation;

1. I worked in electrical supply.
2. 5 months
3. No, polar bears only live in the North Pole.
4. Drink, a lot.
5. No, the sun never set once while I was there.
6. 1,000+ souls at the height of summer season.
7. Science stuff.
8. No, they are not building nuclear weapons.
9. It's down, not up.
10. I will go back if every other opportunity in life fails. I like my friends and family and trees and cities and living things and decomposition too much and besides I really don't like the cold.

I have been constantly spellbound at my friend Sandwich's Livejournal, in which she is now detailing her experiences getting "off the ice" after a whopping 13 months. It makes me laugh out loud, and feel all misty too. I really was a bit worried about some of my friends who chose to stay and work through the pitch darkness of winter (to pay off student loans1 Well, that was some of them anyway). I could not have made it. I would have gone CRAZY. Anyway, Carrie, Sandwich, Kevin Williams, Kyle, and Wade.....I salute you. Now you're all filthy rich. I am glad vampires didn't bite you in the Antarctic Vampire massacre that I predicted. Now go spend some money.