Asterix galore!

The Kai spin on Christmas reads thus:

Festivities started with Margaritas on Tequila Beach* in the brilliant sun of Saturday evening, before we headed up to the Christmas Party in the enormous garage** where we ate dates wrapped in bacon and took surruptitious pictures of the loudest and most horrible holiday sweater ever***. I got in a 45 minute conversation with my friend the Catholic priest about Polynesian tattoos. We ended the night with a whiskey-fueled slumber party in Sandwich's room that involved a revolving cast of many and woke up 5 people cozied on a double bed****, the light streaming in the window shade.
It was Christmas Eve.
We missed breakfast and ended up eating granola and Baileys with coffee, still in ridiculous outfits from the night before (Mykle*****) and being serenaded by the elfin maiden from down the hall****** playing the mandolin, the song was "Why does there have to be a morning after?"- that great old bar rock ballad.
Christmas dinner was held in the lounge of the 211 dorm, we pushed tables together and brought food from the galley, rushing across the road with our loaded trays watching for evil skuas*******. It was hard to eat, as the dinner entertainment included a gay couple in formal-wear doing a sign-language interpretive dance to a religious carol (in unison) and a live-action re-enactment of Da Vinci's "The Last Supper" featuring a black Christ from the Alutian Islands and Mykle as Judas.******** I think there were about 20 supper guests represented also, instead of the usual 13.

After dinner we got skis and began our ill fated to journey to camp out in the snow, in Antarctica, on Christmas Eve.
I can make a long story short to say, I am not a skier and have no patience for constant and ridiculous fatigue and falling. I walked most of the way to the campsite in ski boots, a good 3 miles. We arrived last of the group that was going (21 of us in all), and slept in a dugout tube in the snow, which we affectionately dubbed "The Trailer". Others slept in Quincys, which are basically igloos with no blocks of ice, just hardened and hollowed out snow.

Our sleeping place resembled a masoleum to me, dug into the earth like a grave with pitched blocks of ice acting as a vaulted ceiling. It may have been better if Mykle and I had been actually one person, instead of just masquerading as such. I am glad we are not claustrophobics.
I was scared of freezing to death, but that fear was put aside when I woke too early from my intermittent sleep and had to hike back over a mountain in the now blowing snowstorm. We arrived back at McMurdo on Christmas morning dead tired and sore and with very little cheer.
We took showers and lay down, but soon forced ourselves back to life for the event held by our dear friend Sandwich, called "Santarctica".*********
These events take place in many other parts of the world and are usually called "Santarchy" events. A bunch of people dress in Santa suits around Christmas and mob public places and cause a ruckus. In Antarctica it is much the same, although we also had the option of being an elf (which I took).


We suited up, along with about 25 others, and drove out to "The Stellar Axis", which is a art peice a couple miles out of town on the sea ice.
The peice is made up of a bunch of brilliant blue fiberglass balls which sit on the snow in the same formation as a constellation which was right overhead on the winter solstice (we thought it was ironic that since it is always day here at this time of year the actual constellation was never visible).
We had a special permission to go, and soon red and white and green Santas and elves were flooding through the blue orbs in the blowing snow, cavorting and making pyramids as Santas and elves love to do.

I've talked before about the surreal environment here, but this environment was above and beyond. Because of the snow and winds, one half of the horizon was not visible. It was a continuous sheet of white from my feet on up. The light was filtered and flat through all the clouds and ice and such, so there were no shadows. The only sense of perspective you got was through the reative size of the elf or blue ball you were looking at. The balls are all different sizes, so it looked like some were near and some were far, and all looked like they could be floating in white space.

On the way home some of us*********** crashed the rugby game that was going on near the Kiwi base and an elf got the ball and subsequently got tackled***********. It was a great moment for elves everywhere.
Our Christmas ended with Kai and Mykle falling asleep at 8pm. Skis, elf suits, empty whiskey bottles and fake beards littered the floor of our room.
We had literally no more Christmas or any other kind of spirit left within us.

FIN





*the tiny porch of the dorm MMI, or Mammoth Mountain Inn. The porch has some beach sand in a glass bottle strung from the railing.
**The VMF, where they repair all of McMurdo's vehicles, some of which are enormous.
***Worn by the station manager
****It's not what you think.
*****gold lame shorts
******Michelle Ott, town sweetheart and talented individual.
*******a kind of a large seagull with a sharp beak that is a vicious scavenger. Sometimes they give people stitches. We are not allowed to retaliate of defend ourselves against attacks because of the Antarctic treaty, which says that we can't interact with the wildlife. Unless you are a scientist and then you have leeway to inject seals with Barium and do things of that sort.
********I will post pictures soon, I hope!
*********We are VERY good friends. Also, I have dreamed of participating in this event since I saw pictures last year.
**********Not Mykle and Kai, who couldn't move their legs anymore.
***********Elf Chris Light, who was also wearing tights at the time, Tights!