Tangent on filth

I'm not sure if there's anything that is too disgusting for me to bear. I think it has to do with being an artist and being able to look at anything objectivley - as a composition and not as a vomit-splattered curb or the contents of the oozing wound that is the eye of a homeless man. For instance. I'm just saying.
When I was a girl and I'd go camping or to Loch Lomond to fish with my parents, the other kids would enlist me to remove the fishhooks from the poor creatures we caught (and threw back with bloodied lips, for the fish were small fish and couldn't be eaten). I kill mosquitoes, ticks, fleas etc. with my hands. I grew up shoveling manure and breaking up the bits of horseshit by hand. It usually helps if no one else is around to see you deal with something that is disgusting - like cleaning the bathroom at work and scrubbing urine stains off the rim of the toilet bowl. Without gloves. If someone else was around to flip out I wouldn't be able to just deal, wash my hands, and forget about it.
It's just a collection of colors and shapes, I tell myself. It's a part of the world that is rotting and foul. Of course, some things are harder to deal with than others. Maggots in the compost bucket, for instance. Gory movies are very hard for me to watch. In fact, I hate them. These moves, though, are made for entertainment. I may be able to handle things that disgust me, but I'm not going to go out of my way to revel in them.
All I'm trying to say is that I'll hold your hair out of your face when you puke.

I took my art show down today and moved al the paintings back into our flat. I've been trying to find places for them all. I sort of rearranged the ones already on the wall to make room for more. I even hung one in the hall. If soemone feels like climbing up three flights of stairs to steal it then they can have it free of charge.

Being in our flat is like being inside of my brain now that the walls are covered with bright pictures out of my subconscious mind. Everything is "Kai" colored: Phalo blue, Cadmium Red, Gold, and sometimes Phalo green or white. People that visit often remark on it. I can't help it, I am an encruster. I have to decorate everything that is around me, layer upon layer. I live in my own coral reef of wrought iron spirals and milagro hearts and tattooed vines and gold filigree and tapestry and dust. Always dust.